Why do you see me stranger?
Coming from afar – I had yondered near;
Nearer to your beckoning eyes, glistened with tears-
Pray you! I tell you to sit by me, and tell me why for why that ill?
And if you whimpered to tell me your troubles, I’d praised you more thousand over.

“Hello” said Alice – Courtesy was most important, even at your lowest hours!
In front of her, a bed of lovely flowers, with an array of vibrant colours, were tilting their heads low as if bowing.
And as Alice scanned the entire, the field of flowers seem to stretch forever, until Alice’s eyes met with the sky and she found a dizzy fuzzy line that divided the burning azure from the colour-speckled flower field.

Alice waited for a reply. Surely the flowers had heard her?
She always had spoken out loud.

“Hello!” Alice repeateded, lifting her voice and pulling her head closer to the flowers.

One flower gave a shuffle.
That was weird , thought Alice.

So Alice crouched lower and lower till her buttocks rest against the field. As she sat, Alice spoke again, “Can you guys hear me?”

At this point of time, Alice was wondering whether she was just hearing voices before. It couldn’t be that flowers didn’t spoke in the Rabbit hole, and yet again, in reality, flowers really didn’t speak a human word at all.

Alice was doubtful – Doubt was ill to her.
So feeling rather uncomfortable, Alice decided to do one last check.
She rested her upper body against the ground, then flipped herself over so that her face was towards the sky. And when her body was fully parallel and touching the ground, she moved towards the field of flowers by pulling herself forward.

And as Alice went nearer and nearer, till her hair brushed against the stems of the flowers, abruptly, Alice found herself face to face with tiny yellow faces, with eyes like the black-amberish beads her mother’s sewing box had.
And upon the flowers realising that Alice was indeed face to face with them, an eruption of screams and hollers and a flutter of movement immediately came. Alice was so shocked by that abruptness she immediately sat up.

And upon sitting up and looking across the flower field, she saw a seemingly tide of colours going towards the sky.

“You should never do that!” said a flower.

Alice looked down  , and finally she saw all the flowers with their black-amberish beady eyes looking back – All the flowers looked angry though.

” I’m sorry. “Alice said apolegetically, and she looked down embarassed.

Alice didn’t know why the flowers didn’t want her to look at them – Afterall they are still so beautiful.
SO she asked, ” Why can’t i look at you guys?”

” How rude.” a voice promptly replied.
And Alice look up, to see the flowers in a flurry of discussion – The blue flower was busy chattering with the yellow flower, and the red flower was poking the green flower which spoke to the white one, and many other coloured flowers were speaking to each other.

“We are the garden folk. We cannot look at humans. As simple as that.” said one white flower.

Alice was puzzled. And she asked again, ” How come? “

And the white flowers gave a very stern and straight face.
“You asked too many questions.” said a blue flower.

And then again a flurry of discussion came.
Alice notice now that the red flower was speaking to the white flower, and the blue flower spoke to the yellow flower, and the many other flowers spoke with other coloured flowers.

“Because we are the Garden Folk. Just like you a human, we have our own rules.” said a red flower, her black face almost too dark to begin with.

“And what are those rules? ” asked Alice, her hands now behind her back, and her right leg couldn’t help but to start fiddling with the dirt.

A few flowers shook their head.
“They are not for you to know. Just like a human, rules made for you are rules made for you. IF you tell us, we become bound by your rules, and it’s only to our shame to lose our soul just because we asked what governs you.”

Alice was ever more confused. “Even if i told you about the rules that i know of, doesn’t mean you need to follow them.”
Alice thought about the occasion when her dad told her that she should always use the cutlery to eat her food, and yet there were times when she didn’t follow at all.
And there was a time when a stranger had told her she talk too much in the library, which was suppose to be not for talking, and she didnt follow that or the stranger’s words either.

More flowers shook their heads.

“A symphony is brought about by a set of rules. One musician can defy those rules to play the piece in an indifferent way, but then that leads to the collapse of a symphony. We flowers are united as a race of our own kind, to defy our rules, is to spoil the symphony, is to ruin our unison; Our unison is only but to potray the beauty God has left for us; If we choose to be like you, how more imperfect do you wish us be?” said another red flower.

And Alice shook her head. She didn’t understand at all. The Rabbit hole was full of puzzling mysteries.

A white flower continued, ” Disharmony comes from the lack of understanding from each other. Rules are meant to bring a cohesive understanding and bring about the harmony that unites a race.”
And a blue flower continued, ” yet we cannot deny how amusing men has made trouble for themselves by choosing the rules and not allowing the rules to choose them- In such a way we see only the principle of rules being defeated – What was meant to unite end up being only the irony of it’s purpose.”

And a green flower adds most musically, ” Their symphony is only but a rotten one – like an orchestra of greedy soloists, we can only hear cacophony.”

Alice somehow felt insulted. She wanted to leave. But she wasn’t sure why for she couldn’t understand what the flowers spoke of, of whom of which of what, of why and most importantly how they came about saying all this. She tried to think back,  but she was lost in her thoughts.
So she decided she needed a breather. She needed to leave almost immediately.

So she enquired, ” Do you know which way to Dr Nox’s cave? “

“Straight ahead,” said a pink flower.

Alice look ahead – Only a colour speckled flowers and a burning azure sky.

And just as Alice lift her left leg ready to walk ahead, the flowers tilt their heads low and their eyes were lost in to their own shadows.
The shuffle of movements and the tide of colours that came again and went towards the blue sky immediately stopped Alice-

She couldn’t walk ahead! She would crushed the flowers!
How cruel of her.

So Alice immediately back away, and ask the flowers to make a path for her to walk through.
The flowers shook their heads and were unwilling to move.

So Alice turned back, thinking she would face the woods, only to find a reflection of the same sight in front of her before.
Another whole stretch of flowers lay in front of her. And when she turned towards her left, she saw the same sight, and similarly when she turned towards her right- That was when she realised the field of flowers were surrounding her,and she had only a small room for herself.

Alice was trapped.

Fustrated, Alice crouched and shook a flower’s stem.
The flower immediately look up, petrified – It was ironically a pure white flower.

“how may i get out of here?”Alice pleaded.
And even before a white flower could speak, the black flower next to it immediately said,
” The white flower does not speak, for if it speaks, I wither and become it. Answer this riddle and we will let you pass.”

Alice noticed the white flower sinking it’s head back into it’s shadow just as the black flower spoke.

Alice agreed almost immediately and the black flower spoke, ” What is the answer to all answers? Answer.”

Alice was deeply troubled by the question. The fact that the question comprised of the word answer three times was puzzling enough.

“I don’t know . “mumbled Alice, thinking she had to spent here.

And just as she felt lost and was about to tear again, a yellow flower said, ” Follow that path and you will find an old whiz. Talk to him and he will give the answer you need.”

And Alice turned towards the yellow flower to only see a path cleared for her.
Alice followed it without any second thoughts – It was nice to feel free.
and just as Alice turned a corner the path ended at the doorstep of a house.

The house was neither large nor small, neither simple nor intricate, neither old nor new, neither ugly nor beautiful – It was just what a house should be.

———————————–

Just as Alice was about to knock, she heard a pink flower say, “Don’t worry, if i’m here, it means everything will be okay.”

And Alice tried to hold on hope to those words, though she didn’t find any meaning in them at all.

” Let go? “

Another voice.

Rabbit hole is officially turning creepy. Period.

Alice surveyed her surroundings. The forest she was in just a moment ago had vanished. She was now standing in… nothing. Or at least it seemed so – White varnished walls, white flooring ; everything was practically white.

” Let go? “  , Came the voice once more.

“Who’s there? ” Alice enquired. She tried to move forward, but it almost seems equivalent to her moving backwards – Afterall backwards and forwards in nothingness, is considered equal ; Everything here is equal.

Alice starts to pick up pace. She starts to run, fear overwhelming her – She was reaching nowhere , she was nowhere.

Alice never liked the feeling of not being in control. It made her utterly uncomfortable, and it made her feel useless, as if she was not needed  at all – Not that she complained her family looked at her as so, but to feel herself as so as well was a terrible feeling; She felt she was betraying herself.

And Alice ran and ran, tears running down her face. A fog past her, or was that a cloud?

Another, another, another fog.

Alice had to stop and cover her eyes now, for the fog had clouded her view.

” Come here , little girl. ” called the voice.

” Come where? “  Alice enquired , her voice a little shaky – She was a little impatient with this game.

” Here.” said the voice.

” I’m sorry, i’m not sure where’s here. “

And then she felt a tug on her sleeve.

She rubbed her eyes clean of the remaining mist, and when she turned to see who tugged her, it was a man with no face.

“Ah!” screamed Alice as she stumbled and fell. A poof came from her bottoms.

The man cocked his head. “Here, i meant.” He said rather politely.

” I’m sorry to startle you. ” said he after a moment of silence.

Alice shook her head in despair. She tried to recall. Her head was having a major thoughts jam.
She couldn’t comprehend the situation yet, and inside her she felt as if a similar occurence had just happened.

Someone had landed just as that man had, next to her. Who was it?

Think. Alice. Think!

“Come here , Girl. “  cooed the man.

Alice was cautious. The man with no face was defintely doubtful. He was dressed in a plain white tunic, and it seemed as if he had no legs either.
He seemed to be sitting on a big white cotton wool and just as his body curved in a sitting position, so did his body end. IT seemed almost certain that the white wool was the bottom part of his body.

“Sit. Not to worry. Sit.” said the man, as he glances upwards.

Alice had no choice either. She turned around and all she could see was Nothing still.
It was entirely white, and it seemed the man was her only company – Perhaps her only hope of getting out of here.

So she sat. Alice sat, curved her body into a sitting position, rested right next to the tunic of the man.
Alice placed her hands on her red skirt. They were kind of cold.

She tried to keep her face facing downwards, but the man did not seem to speak after.
The silence was horrible to bear. Alice wanted to go home now.

So Alice turned and looked at the man with no face.
Though he had no eyes, he had a chin.
Though he had no eyebrows, he had hair as white as the first burst of a lightning spark.
though he had no red lips, he had a pair of pale pink ears.

The man was still looking upwards.

“What are you looking at , sir? ” Alice enquired. Finally she broke the silence.

The man seemed to smile. Or at least Alice thought so for he had no lips to stretch, no cheeks to lift ; His face just kind of enlarged and his ears fiddled a little.

” At the sun. ” said the man.

Alice looked up. And as she did, she felt a burst of light scorch her eyes. She winced, and when she reopened slightly and shaded her eyes, the sun was glaring back at her – She had to continue wincing throughout in order to see the sun.

It was peculiar rather, as she  watched the sun danced, that she had not noticed it before.
Maybe it was just too white, maybe it was just too empty.

” Why are you looking at the sun sir ? ” Alice said, rather confidently now, for the man grew familiar.

” I’m trying to find out what shape it is.” said the man. He paused and Alice could hear a slight shuffling of noise next to her. She turned to only find the man looking at her now – Or so she thinks again.

“I think it is square. ” said the man, and Alice saw how as those words came, the silver empty face of the man seemed to wobble like jelly.

Alice found it slightly amusing.

” A square ? ” said Alice, and she took a look at the sun again. Again, a burst of light scorched her eyes momentarily, and she had to wince and shade her eyes again in order to see -barely- the sun dancing yet again at her.

It didn’t look square to her.
It looked more roundish.

“I think it’s round, sir. ” said Alice.

“My name is Albert – Please dont call me a sir – and Round?!” Albertsaid it in an appalling way. ” I’m very sure it’s a square now! “

Alice was shocked by the reply. She didn’t want to look at the man for she didn’t want to have to turn away and face the sun’s scorching light again.

She winced harded and stared harder at the sun.
Now the sun look like a star with just too many edges.

Alice thought deeply. Surely it can’t be a square, but if she said it wasn’t a square, would the man with no face – Albert, as he had corrected her - get mad at her?
And what would happen to her? Dr Nox once said of creatures which lived in the Rabbit hole who ate beings like her. She didn’t want to be eaten up. Oh poosh, if she was dead, she would defintely be in alot of trouble.

” Alright, it’s a square. I see it now.” said Alice, forcing herself to smile.

Alice waited for a reply. No reply came.

“You are lying, ” Albert mumbled hastily ; That glossy face shook like gel.

Alice felt embarrassed. Albert, even without a face saw through her rightaway.

So Alice brainstormed – What could possibly be the best way out of this excrutiatingly-becomingly painful conversation?
Alice was always sweet with words, surely she could think of a decent way to pardon herself and seek an exit?

Then, eureka!

” Why can’t you just let go Albert?” Alice looked at Albert’s face for an answer.

And as if an earthquake erupted, a volcano shook, Albert’s gel-like face trembled.
“Let go? ” He said, his tone pinched.
” I heard you said once, but here you are again, asking me to do the same thing i tried not to think about?! Have you no shame? Have you no respect for my work? ” exclaimed Albert, his tone crescending.

Alice was scared.
She trembled like Albert’s face.
The cloud she sat on turn grey, and shook violently.

She had no choice and no other words to say -
So she jumped and gave a run for towards the end,

and Albert’s voice stayed by her for awhile,
screaming how she was ill of respect,
ill of good-riddance dignity for his work,
ill of everything possibly a man should live for – by the virtue of all the ancestors who sweated and bled for the understanding-
She was merely useless in the entire picture.

And Alice teared as she heard those words – She didnt mean to make Albert upset.
Yet, as she teared, and let go of Albert,
and upon letting go, the white oblivion of nothingness dissapeared,
And a garden speckled of coloured flowers welcomed her warmly,
her eyes were distant and fogged by her tears.

—

So she fell on her knees, on thy’s anchored bed of green,
Let no rain fall from the Heavens, for the bed is being watered,
by a girl’s charmed tears so charmed yet so mellowed,
in shades and vibrancy of colours she has yet to find,
Leave him in his own wake, wed tell her,
and yet trembling in that decieving truth,
we guess she knew,
In his world, he was much better than her,
but in her world, though the other way round,
it wasn’t of any use – because her world,
was only her’s but nobody else’s.

Sang the flowers.
And Alice wiped her tears away,
realising the beauty before her;
and though Albert’s crude remarks echoed like an attached wind,
It was what was before her, the charming flowers,
that imbued her to cry her heart out,
and when she did,
she felt a warm filling feeling.

Like an empty jug filled with the warmest spring water,
she felt alive again.

And the flowers smiled.
Alice was Alice again.

” But not everyone is a sailor right? I mean … ” Alice scratches the floor with her foot, pondering.

She looks up , searching Dr Nox eyes for something – Or at least she thinks it’s something of a thing.

“Not everyone has to become a sailor right? “

Dr Nox smiles. The afternoon breeze had just flooded in, and as if affected by the depressing weather outside the rabbit hole, sinks close to their feet.

“i don’t know. what do you think? After all you live more years outside the rabbit hole than i have? ” He teased.

Alice didn’t know. For one, she lived only 10 years outside the rabbit hole and if she knew her months well, it was only a few months before it will be her 11th. But down in the rabbit hole, enclosed in the home ( or Cave, as Dr Nox calls it) of Dr Nox, she knew nothing of how to find the answer to -ironically- her own question.

“But Dr Nox, surely you have the answer? ” Alice pleads, her curiousity about to get the better of her.

Dr Nox eyes twinkled. Even in the midst of almost darkness, his dark olive eyes sparkle like emeralds – A reflection of the candle flames that stood nearby.

” Follow the shadows Alice, and you will find the answer.” Dr Nox calmly says, before ushering himself into his own bedroom, and slitting the lock – Like he always did, when he felt troubled.

Alice felt upset. The shadows? What was he implying?

Alice gaze towards the candles , and then to her own shadow that was cast behind her.
She makes a spin, and her shadow remains there – How funny, isn’t a shadow suppose to follow?

Maybe she wasn’t fast enough to catch what the shadow was doing.

” OR maybe the shadow wasn’t fast enough to catch what you were doing.”

” Who’s there?” Alice enquires. She wasn’t afraid- at least not yet- afterall the Rabbit Hole was full of suprises.

“Come out, come out whereever you are.
OR follow the shadows as another had told,
You could dance and pound for them,
and perhaps if you could, allow them to tell you a story;
I bid you that that story is haunting,
for many like the planet-man would have cried upon listening,
so come out , come out – little girl do not – whereever you are -
The shadows will only dance for you.”

The voice she heard had break into a song. Alice felt her knees quiver. What a scary voice.
She needed to get out of this cave. Yes. She did. The echoes that came after the song were unbearable, it was as if she was drowning – drowning in sounds.

——-

A burst of light came. Alice had to cover her eyes for a moment.
“Where.. where .. am i .” Alice mumbles.

” You are in my humbled abode.” The voice rang again, now louder and it was almost as if that voice came from just right in front of her.
Alice peers.

“OH DEAR MY!” Alice tumbles backwards. A stranger , no bigger than a few feet tall was just right in front of her.

“Hello.” says the stranger.

“Who, are you?” Alice enquires hesistantly.

“Why, i’m Mabel! And good choice you have made back there. Good choice. Obviously the shadows would not talk like me.”
The stranger gave a hissing laugh.

“I didn’t make any, i just was frightened . ” Alice was embarassed. She was never scared of anything, not even of the Queen.

“Ah. that’s not of your choice to decide in making one isn’t it?” Mabel clasped her gloves hands.

And as if time had stopped, Mabel froze, her bright yellow eyes gazing into Alice – or more like gazing at her soul.

“Stop looking at me like that! “Alice cried. “You are scaring me!”

Alice quickly retreated into the woods nearby, frightened.

” Dr Nox ask for my help and i shall assist him. Afterall, a scientist never has not experimented, and i for one, am hes most successful yet.” The voice paused, as if contemplating.

“Yet, i shall not beckon you if you fear so much as of your own fear that you can’t even see me as another companion in your voyage – I could only bear to hate myself for not allowing time for you to understand better.”

Alice felt guilty. Of course, Mabel was a little scary and her voice was a tingy bit daunting, but the fact was she was afterall a stranger.

Could Mabel ever become a friend?  Alice wondered.

Upon wondering, Alice abruptly remembered.
“Oh dear my! I ‘ve forgotten that i’ve this unbearable question that i need to have answered. OH MABEL! could you please help me?”

The woods was almost silent now. Under the canopy of leaves, only the brushing of the wind against them could be heard;
Sunlight like little sabers pierce through.

“Mabel? ” Alice looked around. She tried to remember where she had come from, but she couldn’t remember. Her steps were merely crunches in the bed of dead leaves, and honestly, there were too many crunches around.

Then she heard a loud crunch.
Someone had landed right beside her.

And to her horror, and amusement as well, Mabel sat , ogling her yet again.

—

“Of course i can help! I’m unlike other strangers, you know! ” Mabel smiled.  ” I’m one of a kind “She said cheerfully, nudging Alice at her side.

And immediately as if there was a time lapse, Mabel’s expression dissolved into becoming composed.

“And what is your question? ” Mabel said seriously, in a slight amusement.

“well , do we all have to become sailors? ” Alice exclaimed.

Mabel look puzzled. Alice pondered why.

“Oh of course you don’t know! ” Alice scratches her head in embarassment yet again.
How could she know what’s a sailor when she didn’t know about the boats and sea, and all the things Dr Nox and her had talked about before.

” Don’t know?”Mabel said subtlely . “Don’t know? ” Mabel replied.

And there it came again – The laughter that sounded more like a snake’s hiss.

“OF COURSE I KNOW!” Mabel shouted at the top of her voice.

“You know what’s a sailor? ” Alice was shocked both ways.

“Of course, darling, of course.” Mabel started to waltz and everytime she lift her feet and pressed against the earthly bed, it was rather quizzical why she left no sound.

” Sailors, jerks, atheist, missionaries, i know them all . ” Mabel smiled to herself.

“But why do you only enquire about the sailor? ” Mabel eyes Alice suspiciously.

“Well .. I .. ” Alice trembles, trying to find a proper answer. Mabel now reminded her of her 3rd grade teacher, who was repulsive because of being so cold-hearted and overly objective.

” What is there about a sailor that is much more profound to be understood? Why is it always the sailor that rides the ocean and not another stranger like I? Why is it that a sailor whose only capabilities are to watch the sea and understand the boat is to be the one – the only one- to be within the reachs of a paradise? Why is it not a stranger, but a sailor?”

Mabel seems to be singing yet again now.

Alice contemplated leaving. She was surely not going to get her answer from this stranger.

“Can you answer this question, you fair lady?” Mabel asks, not looking in Alice’s direction.

” Maybe a stranger can become a sailor if the stranger wants to?”  Alice answers in a trembling voice.

“rubbish.”  Mabel simply said.

” A stranger walks his own path, a path that can never be identified by a sailor. A stranger does not become a sailor when he wants to,a stranger unfortunately never becomes one. But a sailor can always become a stranger, yes, a stranger. A stranger to Her, a stranger to Him. A sailor will seek that paradise, and a stranger debunks it. We live in a world without seeking pity. We are our own Gods, we rule this world. We are unfeared of, only to frighten. “

Alice bites her lip. She has this burning feeling and it comes whenever she wants to say something. But her mother had always told her, such words when spoken only on impulse, will get her only into very deep trouble.

But she couldn’t stop them. Those words, were like water, seeping out of her mouth.
“Sorry, Mabel , but i don’t get how it is answering my question.” And Alice turns hastily away.

For some reason, she knew Mabel had turned around to look at her just as she had turned away. Somehow it reminded her of something, something that had happened before.

” You knew not why but out of earnesty to come to this hole, in here , you indulge in the greatest treasure of all. It is not mine to tell you what it is, nor is it anybody’s granted wish to be fufilled. No man could ever walk in to a place filled with his evermost desires to realise that he was in there, just as no stranger could ever ride the ocean and knew he was a sailor.

A sailor rides the ocean because he has to. But you ask will everyone become a sailor? Yes everyone will become a sailor, but not everyone will be a sailor. Becoming is not being, but being is becoming.”

Alice turns back. And upon turning, Mabel’s back was facing her again.

“Like shadows, we believed they are a mere reflection of our movements. But we can never know how much of a shadow is of our own, and neither can our bare eyes prove to us so – For there some things that are just far beyond the ability of one man to understand. If you ask me why do we all have to be a sailor, i can only tell you this : It is not ours to understand why , but it is given to ours to understand how, but even at the point of understanding how, comes the impossibility of understanding how it is why.”

And Mabel walks away, her tail hanging low. The soft crunches of that her feet that should have been left, smoothen.

Yet as those words slowly fill Alice in,
Alice was suprised when she tried to remember that stranger, all she could remember were those words, and the alienated feeling that always hung between the two.

                                                                         —-

As Alice plodded along, rubbing her head as the words left it sore, she felt a short tug at her back. Suprised, she immediately thought it was someone else. But to her amusement, it was only a tree branch, hooked like a witch’s finger.

 ”Let go.” Alice smiles cheekily.
And she was suprised when the tree branch fell limp and the woods that were behind her slowly dissapeared.

Her’s meeting with Dr Nox.

Dr Nox: “  In Life we are in this ever-challenging voyage ; Like on a rippled sea, our boats rocked on upon every wave – Only the strongest boats will survive.”

Alice:  ” and what happens when they do survived?”

Dr Nox combs his beard and looks at Alice with weary eyes.

Dr Nox: “Well, when they do survived, they reach the shore of a paradise. But then, even as they reach the shore, there still lies a final test to be faced.”

” And what’s that? ” Alice asks with huge doe eyes.

“Well,” Dr Nox quickly chirped in, ” The final test comes almost immediately when the boats arrive to the shore; Do you know why the island is called a paradise? “

“Why” Alice enquires.

” well, it’s because there are hardly any body there – Everyone wants to be there.”

” Why does everyone want to be in a place with little people? “

“Ah. That remains a question we will answer some other day Alice. Why don’t you ask, why are there so little people in the first place?”

“Okay i asked.”

Dr Nox Smiles cheekily.
” The strongest boats can survive the sea, but can the sailors of those boats survive the voyage? Many atimes we build our lives to become so compact and secure, and it is undeniable that we will survive. But surviving is not living. A sailor could ride his boat to that island with no soul remaining, and he dies on that island. A sailor could have the strongest, bullish boat that rides the sea as if it was simply ironing it – But when he comes to that paradise, he will not be happy. Another sailor could not even survive the voyage, and his boat would simply rest upon that paradise with no soul on board. Alice do you understand why all these sailors will never achieve their destination?”

Alice squeeze her eyes real tight. She tries to imagine a brewing storm, hoards of sailors screaming through the pouring rain, and brown boats – some buckling underneath – colliding against each other, and at the end, a bright and sunny island waiting.
“I don’t get it.” alice says , opening her eyes, ” why would they risk their lives for that paradise? “

 Dr Nox smiles. “Exactly Alice – A sailor’s life is nothing more that to voyage; To seek a paradise, is only to seek the end of his life.”